The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
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Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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