My pussy is not your playground.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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