Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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