It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
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I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
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Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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