Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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