Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
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I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
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I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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