Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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