summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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