So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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