Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize