4 words: hood of his car
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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