I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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