so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
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I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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