very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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