Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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