he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize