I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
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There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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