I'm going to jail i love you
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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