I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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