ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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