we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize