You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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