Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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