1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize