K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
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I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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