I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize