He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
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Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
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Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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