That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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