As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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