I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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