kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize