I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize