Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize