I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We have started to decorate penises.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize