Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize