i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize