I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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