I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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