New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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