I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
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Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
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I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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