I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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