i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize