I bet he comes in French.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize