This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
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can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
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Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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