U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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