So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize