No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
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just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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