Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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