We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize