how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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