Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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